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software

allow me to commence today's monologue by stating the glaringly obvious. every saturday morning, though at no particularly defined time, i remove one of my bicycles from thewashingmachinepost bikeshed, and head south west to debbie's for lunch. there are no trials or tribulations involved in that process; my bicycles are reasonably well maintained, the chains clean and lubricated, tyres suitably inflated and, to recite my favourite humorous aside, they tend to start first time, every time.

now contrast that with thursday teatime. having cooked my favoured pasta dish, poured myself a glass of fizzy water, and grabbed some cutlery, i sat down in front of the telly box. i will readily admit that i absolutely hate channel four's 'married at first sight', so i am currently in the habit of watching the big bang theory on channel four's streaming app. however, having selected the lime green square from my tv menu, an on-screen notice informed me that there had been a problem connecting to channel four, and i had subsequently been signed out.

carrying on regardless, i managed to find the big bang menu, which had lost any reference to where i had ended wednesday's period of big bang viewing. selecting the appropriate programme icon, i was then informed that i would have to sign in to continue viewing, at which point the screen displayed a web address and a six-digit code i ought to type into my web browser when prompted. all this to access a free-to-air uk tv channel which i had been accessing every day for the past three weeks. obviously a first world problem, but a (temporary) problem nonetheless. i won't explore in depth why it has been found necessary to have a user name and password simply to watch a tv channel which offers live broadcasts without any of this troublesome fuss.

irritating problems, such as that described above, are not confined to watching television; it's one that occurs with unfailing regularity. for instance, should i wish to download a dropbox image via a link within a press release, i am requested to input my username and password (just attach it to the e-mail). far too many public relations companies send links to documents stored in the cloud, hosted by either google or microsoft, both of which require that i log-in to accounts i do not possess. whatever happened to the simpler days of typing the text into an e-mail, or even resorting to attaching the above in a word file or pdf?

these are the sort of situations for which cycling has proved the perfect antidote, partly through its gratifying simplicity, and partly because it allows me to 'get away from it all'. but i now harbour fears that that may soon change for no explicable reason, other than that someone, somewhere has decided it can.

within the automotive industry, there is a methodology known by the acronym sdv, or software defined vehicle, three words that ought to send fear into the hearts of all those who read them. this particular development defines "a car where functions such as driving, safety, and entertainment are controlled and updated through software, much like a smartphone. a particularly scary thought.

but as with much of contemporary technology, it is rarely content to remain within the realm in which it arose. already the sdv acronym has spread to the velocipedinal universe via a company called also. a subsidiary of rivian and with offices in palo alto, california, seattle, washington and taiwan, also. has introduced what it refers to as tm-b, or transcendent mobility, currently consisting of a hideous-looking electric bicycle-shaped-object (see above), the performance edition of which will retail at $4,500. its design allows removal of the seat-tube to reconfigure the bicycle in a fashion that suits the demands of the day.

you will be unsurprised to learn that the tm-b pairs with your smartphone (what doesn't these days?). it will be possible to opt for manual or automatic gearchanging, but one of the really scary bits is the security feature, which possesses the ability to 'brick' the whole enchilada by disabling everything. breaking the bike into component parts offers no value to a thief. nothing is usable until the owner unlocks the system. and during the life of the product (their word, not mine), enhancements of existing features can be introduced, while new features can be added in the same way as subscription software. if you can add new features, you can make future hardware adaptations.

also. terms this, 'an ecosystem'.

the potential problem with subscription software is that it checks with the provider's servers at startup to ensure that any subscription remains up to date. however, as happened with amazon web services earlier this week, sometimes those servers break down, potentially and perhaps unintentionally turning the tm-b into the previously mentioned 'brick'. ask any duolingo user. and if that's not scary enough, it might be worth my pointing out that the pedals are not actually connected to the electric motor; motive force is handled by software.

now consider a situation similar to my experience with channel four's streaming app.

apparently this is progress.

also.

friday 24 october 2025

askance

prior to becoming a non-internet sensation, thewashingmachinepost existed as an occasional column in islay's local newspaper, engendered by a misplaced desire to educate the island's residents of the joys of cycling. that particular campaign foundered before it had even started with an almost inbuilt hebridean reticence to use anything other than the motor car to get from a to b. the fact that this position continues to this day, can be illustrated by the behaviour of one of my neighbours only this afternoon.

realising that a product ordered by mrs washingmachinepost for home delivery from the local averagemarket had been omitted from the doorstep drop, i kindly donned my jacket and headed down the village in order to purchase said item. as i exited my front door, the chap who lives across the road did likewise. the glaring difference was my embarkation on a walk, while he headed towards the car. as i walked down main street, i noticed the same chap stepping from a friends house and about to cross the road to his car. on my return to the croft, that car was again to be seen in the car park.

need i say more?

however, to return to the origins of the post, given the essentially superficial nature of the usual content, it was often seen as superfluous to the printed word. helpfully, the interwebs had effectively opened up even to those with very little web experience, allowing me to transfer my compulsion to write on velocipedinal matters to the nearest web browser. the decision to continue, no matter what, was loosely based on discovering my words had instilled a sense of quizzical wonder and humour within the few who could be bothered reading.

while still in its fundamental internet infancy, the topics of conversation bore a passing resemblance to those that currently fill these black and yellow pixels; my very own opinions on velocipedinal matters that scarcely mattered to anyone in any case.

however, after about a decade of irrelevant scribblings, matters had improved sufficiently, that people with products to sell, apparently found it a bit of a wizard wheeze to send samples of those products, have me wear or use them, then write a few words accompanied by my rudimentary photography (thank goodness for photoshop). from my point of view, enacting product reviews provided manna from velocipedinal heaven. in other words, interesting stuff about which to write, and often on a continuous basis.

of course, that, in and of itself, created a hitherto unheralded problem: how much to write? when it came to bicycles, that was, dare i say it, easy. those who wished to purchase a motor car could avail themselves of the archetypal test-drive, while those of us intent on spending a substantial amount of cash on a new bicycle were denied the same luxury (cars have always been of a one-size-fits-all constitution). therefore, i worked on the principle that, were i to be about to reduce my bank balance on a new bike, i would want to know absolutely everything there was to know about my intended purchase. print magazines were/are constrained by available space, while the internet offered more than even an out-of-town tesco car park.

however, throughout the decades i enjoyed writing product reviews, my governing philosophy was inspired by an 1970s issue of new musical express, in which charles shaar murray (if memory serves correctly) reviewed a record which he presumably didn't rate too highly. the entire review consisted of his describing how he had fitted kitchen cabinets the previous weekend. from that point of recollection, my ambition was to review a product (positively or negatively), without actually reviewing the product, if that doesn't sound like too much of a conundrum.

sad to say, i've never achieved that ambition.

thursday 23 october 2025

over there

logical

according to any number of press releases which metaphorically cross my desk, it seems likely that every single day of the year has been allocated to obscure and less obscure causes. along with international sandwich day, there is cycle to work day, international red cross day, and my current favourite, national almond day. but returning to one of the more pragmatic instances, though now past and unavailable for direct approbation, was international repair day, taking place on saturday 18 october. if i were us, and tautologically that can only be true, i'd make note of that day/date, so that we might discuss more timeously in 2026.

perhaps rather obviously, international repair day encompasses more than just bicycles, but given the nature of this blog, it would seem pertinent to remain on topic, at least for the time being. the day's existence and relevance was brought to the fore via a quote from simon beatson, the very chap who kindly sent a ritchey logic frame in my direction many years ago. currently ritchey design's north american manager, he highlighted tom ritchey's support for the initiative, apparently more concerned that everyone should be able to fix their own bike, than maximising the company's sales potential. it's a rather iconoclastic stance to take, but one that i can't help thinking would pay greater long term dividends than the sell at all cost objective, more prevalent within the industry.

that professed 'right to repair even included a website offer of 25% of your next purchase. perhaps the principal subject of yesterday's discussion might pay heed.

tom ritchey's belief in self-sustainability, that no matter where riders are in the world, they should have the basic skills to get themselves home safely. is one seen to guide the design process behind ritchey products, several of which currently reside in thewashingmachinepost bikeshed. i should point out, for the sake of clarity, that most are affixed to the same ritchey bicycle.

up to a point, i consider myself reasonably mechanically adept, able to remedy the majority of infractions, even at the side of the road. punctures, chain breakages, gear and brake cables all fall within my remit, made considerably simpler by tom ritchey's design ethos. yet despite his quest for the latter, his ideas seem well able to keep pace with modernity. though neither of his road bike frames feature internal cable-routing, the range does offer carbon handlebars (admittedly at a rather eyewatering price) compatible with internal brake-hose routing for shimano di2 and sram axs groupsets.

both the road logic and montebello framesets offer external cable-routing, greatly simplifying the replacement process, but there's little doubt that the advent of hydraulics has considerably lessened the repair your own bike option. though it seems a tad unlikely that you'd suffer from an unexpectedly burst brake hose, i'm sure there are circumstances under which that might occur. quite how you'd repair, refill and bleed a hydraulic brake hose from the grass verge at saligo, i'm completely mystified.

for the majority of bike builders, however, any concerns about self-sufficiency were probably left in the boardroom, otherwise integral cable routing via the headset and headtube would never have made it off the drawing board. it's a philosophy that has also been summarily ignored by wheel manufacturers. a friend of mine suffered a broken spoke on a campagnolo bora ultra carbon wheel several months ago, and as far as i'm aware, he's still waiting for a shop repair to be effected. conversely, i opted to retire my own campagnolo bora wheelset in favour of a pair of handbuilt wheels featuring 32 stainless spokes, built three cross onto a campagnolo record, mavic open pro sandwich. should one of those spokes break, replacements are easily and cheaply available, repairs enacted via my park tool spoke key.

the pros may be in thrall to wind-tunnel-tested deep carbon rims for good reason. us too, but minus the good reason.

however, i believe the difference between tom ritchey and yours truly, though smaller than between myself and the chaps at the head of cervelo or canyon, are still a few degrees apart. judging by the product range on offer from ritchey, he is not averse to the potential vicissitudes of the future of bike design, but takes care not to be sidelined, or adopt every trend as it arrives. i, however, am a fully paid up luddite, who takes great delight in mechanical groupsets and external cable routing. if i had my way, we'd still be on square-taper bottom brackets, easily replaceable, loose quarter-inch bearings and one-inch headsets capable of accommodating quill stems.

and at the risk of derailing the conversation, can anyone actually think of a definable advantage (for the average velocipedinist) offered by their contemporary replacements? and if you can, are they personally repairable?

wednesday 22 october 2025

over there

a good friend of mine (thank you, james) sent me a copy of a recent article from the financial times entitled, "cycling fashion group, rapha, prepares for long climb back to profit." firstly, i confess it was something of a surprise to read of rapha referred to as a 'fashion group', though judging by some of their recent designs, i can see from where the financial times was coming. i'm sure there's a whole host of us who would venture opinion on why it is that imperial works has suffered yet another financial loss (£15.6 million; its eighth reported annual loss), but since few, or any, of that number have experience of running a multi-national cycling brand, i doubt any would be seriously considered by current ceo, fran millar.

not unnaturally, the article concentrates on the financial aspects of the business, few of which i genuinely comprehend (not entirely sure to what 'impairment' refers in this context), but it does mention in the last two paragraphs, that rapha has now ended its partnership with team ef education, which, considering the costs associated with sponsorship of a world tour team, would certainly appear to be a sensible fiscal decision. if i might cite lord leverhume's apocryphal quote "fifty percent of my advertising is a waste; if only i knew which fifty percent." despite all the marketing metrics available to the modern-day intrepid corporation, it must still prove a tad difficult to learn whether nine identical jerseys in the tour de france peloton actually improves sales figures.

and, though bearing in mind rapha was doubtless well aware of their impending separation during le tour 2025, that scarcely excuses what seemed to me at least, a missed opportunity. during those three weeks in july, irish ef rider, ben healy, was particularly prominent in proceedings, leading to appearances on the podium, coupled with regular post stage interviews. on virtually every one of those appearances, he was to be seen wearing a casquette branded with the rapha logo, which he dutifully wore with the peak flipped up. yet a concerted search of rapha's website elicited no opportunity to purchase a similarly branded cap. given the cost of an ef proteam aero jersey (£195), a casquette at £25 struck me as the ideal impulse buy.

obviously even hundreds of impulse cap purchases would scarcely make a dent in that £15 million loss, but i'm sure you see what i'm getting at.

however, having announced the ending of the ef sponsorship, curtailing of their footwear range, and dropping the lifestyle range of t-shirts, sweatshirts etc. ms. millar has since provided something of an incomprehensibe conundrum by bringing us news of its latest collaboration with the usa cycling team as they work towards the los angeles olympics in 2028. and to quote from the press release, this "will take Rapha into new disciplines such as Track, BMX Racing, and BMX Freestyle and see them harness the innovation gains of working with athletes at the cutting edge of the sport. It will also see a Rapha armband worn to glory on cyclists at their home Games in one of the brand's biggest markets."

two aspects garnered from that quote seem somewhat contradictory to the contents of the financial times article. along with the previously mentioned curtailments, the article contends that rapha will merge its two long-distance cycling ranges and that this year's 65 product launches will reduce to half that number in 2026. so far, so good, but if they plan to support track, and both disciplines within the bmx realm, where would be the point unless they plan to produce replica garments for sale? it was bad enough for some of us that rapha introduced an offroad trail range, but bmx? surely this further dilutes the company's professed and heavily publicised mission to make road racing the world's most popular sport? and wouldn't you imagine the price of admission to national team sponsorship comes perilously close to that of a professional team involved in a single velocipedinal discipline?

but they also mention that the american market is one of rapha's biggest, leading me to wonder how much effort and investment might be required to grow that market, as opposed to others where growth might more easily achievable? given that rapha was founded by simon mottram in 2004, based at the original imperial works in kentish town, many of us tend to consider it to be a british company, the current owners' dollar mentality notwithstanding. are any of us keen to wear cycling apparel branded with presumably one of britain's main competitiors at the los angeles olympic games? i understand that british cycling might already have a contracted clothing partner for 2028, but in rapha's 21 year history, i do not recall seeing chris hoy or jason kenny sporting a rapha branded hoop on their left biceps.

even after almost thirty years of writing thewashingmachinepost, there is still so much i do not understand about cycling.

tuesday 21 october 2025

observation

just for a smidgeon of amusement at the start of the week, perhaps you could read the following list and let me know if any actually mean anything to you? assa abloy, telenet, sunseeker, bingoal, pgs group, vandaele, maes, electro depot, and the possibly open to double-entendre, prik & tik. my point is, to a certain extent, based on the not unnatural assumption that you'll possibly have heard of only one, and that depends greatly on your appreciation of belgian beers.

though i hope you'll not think less of me, those names are all culled from the banners around the parcours of yesterday's super-prestige cyclocross event in ruddervoorde. from what i can gather, these advertisers sign up for an entire season's worth of 'cross races pertaining to a particular trophy series. that may or may not explain a total lack of x2o badkamers adverts or any for exact software, as both of those sponsor their own series of races. but looked at from a particular point of view (in this case, that of yours truly), there's a possibility that certain points have been missed.

the cyclocross events televised on tnt sports (and believe me, it gives great pain to even provide them with a name check) originate predominantly in belgium and holland, therefore the team sponsors (pauwels sauzen, crelan correnden, and the like) are centred around those countries. in the majority of cases, the products or services they provide are unavailable on this side of the channel. when was the last time you looked for willy naessens' phone number?

that alone, undoubtedly explains our lack of recognition with regard to the trackside banners. but i do wonder whether those watching the racing on belgian or dutch tv, or even those attending the events in person, are any better informed than you or i? for instance, the names listed at the outset are frequently all that can be seen on those banners; there is often little by way of additional information to enlighten the ignorant. to a certain extent, that would seem to undermine the basic tenets of advertising and marketing strategy. perhaps i would greatly benefit from whatever it is that vandaele sells or provides, but i'll probably never know. granted, i could simply look it up on the interwebs, but had i not written it down while watching the race, there's no way i'd have remembered the name after i'd switched channels to watch the big bang theory.

there are certain brands of an international nature, that can comfortably survive without the additional information; straight off i can think of apple, shell and possibly red bull, all of whom can be recognised simply by sight of a logo. of course, the banner advertisers at european cyclocross events have to cope with the obvious disadvantage that they may only be seen for a few seconds at a time during the average broadcast, but frequently the banners are arranged in a lengthy series around the track perimeter, surely allowing one to provide the name or logo, and subsequent banners providing greater insight into that which they represent? but of course, from the viewpoint of a british audience, that's probably of academic interest.

however, it seems that my observational skills were encouraged by the insolent notating of advertisers, and at several points, strayed to the bicycles ridden by almost the entire peloton (if, indeed, one can refer to a cyclocross start list as such). and this almost casual observation elicited that cyclocross bicycles are less prone to the vicissitudes of velocipedinal fashion, unlike those ridden by participants in the world tour. for instance, the oddity that is colnago's v1rs, is thankfully unseen. by this, i mean the lack of an actual seat tube and a seatpost that has to be cut at an angle.

that said, i believe there are two specific points worth making.

firstly, almost without exception, the bicycles from ridley, stevens, bianchi, canyon et al feature horizontal top tubes. that may simply be to aid the practice of shouldering the bicycle at strategic points of the course, but it could just as easily demonstrate that maintaining a geometrically congruous double-diamond is still a desirable state of affairs. and while we're on the subject of congruous diamond shapes, once again, almost every bicycle ridden by cyclocross' top riders has the seatstays join the seat tube at the rear of the top tube, just like they used to do in the good old days. yet, the majority, if not all of those to be seen in the world tour peloton have succumbed to dropping them half-way down the seat-tube, a fashion for which i have been unable to gain a sound engineering explanation.

isn't cyclocross just the best?

monday 20 october 2025

two

just as i sat down to write today's monologue, i checked the weather forecast for sunday, one which did not make for comfortable reading, given the indicator for heavy rain commencing around 6am and continuing until at least 7pm in the evening. and while that rain is in progress, the wind gusts were expected to increase from 54kph to around 65kph. i need not explain that winds of that speed are on the edge of what is possible on a bicycle; and even if achievable, let me tell you, from personal experience, it's not much fun. the fact that the winds are east, south easterly, means they're not going to be warm. bearing that in mind, you may understand why the velo club has tacitly agreed to stay at home and watch super-prestige cyclocross.

so far, calmac are hedging their bets, not yet having announced any cancellations for sunday, though there's still time.

when conversing with my newsagent on saturday afternoon, i was gently chided for having capitulated quite so early in the weekend. i do take that to heart, because i have seen the day when i would have cast safety concerns aside, and gone cycling in any case. tautologically, that led me on to the observation that there are, in fact, two distinct strains of cyclist when it comes to inclement weather, and that while i always identified with the second option, i'm concerned that i might be turning into the first.

to clarify, there are those midst the peloton, other than the professional classes, who own waterproofs, but view them as damage limitation. in other words, a waterproof jacket is either worn at the point of departure, but purely as a precautionary measure, or stowed in a back pocket ready for when the first few drops appear on the oakleys. the second group, and irrespective of your actual proclivities, is the group that the majority either inhabit, or wish they did. this agglomeration of cyclists harbours no fear of the weather; if it's sunday, it's bike-ride time, one to be undertaken no matter the amount of precipitation or strength of the wind. for this class of velocipedinists, waterproofs are a weapon, not a refuge.

it is comforting, nonetheless, to watch the various cycling apparel purveyors frantically search for the holy grail; an effective replacement for goretex shakedry, in truth, the only fabric to provide the ultimate shield from the weather. from personal experience and anecdotal reviews, shakedry was the first waterproof material that not only breathed to an effective degree, but didn't let a single droplet of rain past the no-fly zone.

the worldwide ban on the use of so-called forever chemicals, several of which were used in the production of the original goretex membrane, has rendered shakedry persona non-grata, and there are more than just a few of us who are fervently hoping that the shakedry jacket in the cycling wardrobe, not only survives for several years yet, but that we manage not to put on an undue amount of weight, so that it continues to fit the honed physique. in my own case, the medium-size rapha pro-team shakedry jacket i possess, along with the majority of pro-team jackets and jerseys, is a remarkably close fit, one that i try-on every couple of months, just to check that, even with a very narrow waist, that the full-length zip still fastens.

however, following that short digression, there exists an essentially unconnected group of sunday cyclists who are rarely discouraged by poor weather, a state-of-mind that usually has to be gradually acquired, predominantly by heading out into the wide, grey yonder in all weathers.

though i generally profess to be amongst this number, there was a time when even the threat of rain had me pacing the sitting room carpet for hours on end, convinced that, if i left it just another half hour, the clouds would clear and signal the grand départ. unfortunately, usually by the time that happened, it was effectively too late to ride anywhere, and i was hell to live with for the remainder of the day. after several repeats of the above, it gradually dawned on me that this was likely to be a recurring pattern for the decades to come, and either i went cycling, or found a different hobby. that was the point at which i became a fully-paid up member of group two.

my only concession to such meteorological conditions was perhaps a shortening of the parcours.

i have said on numerous occasions, that i might have an entirely different approach were we talking about the daily commute, where a task, or tasks had to be undertaken on arrival at my destination while dripping all over the carpet. however, as far as the sunday ride is concerned, no matter where you are in the world, it inevitably consists of riding in circles before heading home for a warm shower and a change of clothes. in situations such as the latter, why become concerned about becoming windswept and interesting? i appreciate that adopting that particular state of mind is easier said than done, but a concerted effort can overcome any objections.

events such as the soon-to-be-upon-us festive 500 are ideal. in my third year of attempting those 500 kilometres over the course of eight consecutive days, it not only rained on every single one of them, but was frequently accompanied by galeforce winds. due to the latter, i'd to remain at home on one of those days, as, like sunday would appear to emulate, it was simply too dangerous to ride. that meant i'd to upgrade from an average 63km per day to 72km each day. by the time the new year's day ride was finished, inclement weather no longer held any fears, and i had webbed feet.

the conundrum for those who have read this far, is to decide with which group your allegiance lies, and whether that needs to change. i am concerned that my capitulation over sunday's weather has now conferred group one status upon me while i still long for the legendary status that ensued from belonging to group two. the stumbling block, as far as i can see, is the concern demonstrated by friends, family and mrs washingmachinepost since my health blip in march this year. the subterfuge might be, however, to lie low for this winter, and resume my tenacity in the new year.

it's hard to let go.

image: rapha shadow jacket

sunday 19 october 2025

this is luxury you can('t) afford

we have long been told that cycling's rich heritage was born of working class ambition enabling individual members of society to drag themselves from the foothills of humanity into the portent of financial security, both for themselves and their families. fausto coppi elevated his aspirations from the prospect of toiling on the tuscan landscape, to becoming il campionissimo, one of the greats in velocipedinal history. many of those who participated in the first tour de france of 1903, formerly lived in penury, the prospect of sizeable prize-money providing the impetus to adopt the way of the bicycle with greater enthusiasm than encouraged by the mere sight of the bicycle alone.

throughout the majority of its 100+ years of existence, the bicycle has frequently been seen as the mode of transport, perhaps unwillingly, adopted by the proletariat. unable to afford a motor car or even public transport, the bicycle was the saviour of many all across the world. even today, the attitude of many a motorist is based on viewing the average cyclist as lower class, despite the not unlikely scenario that many bicycles being more valuable than the average used car. if you have not yet watched vittorio de sica's 1948 tearful movie, the bicycle thieves, i'd advise ordering the dvd before reading the remainder of this monologue.

nowadays, however, there's an argument for proposing the bicycle as more of a luxury item. to celebrate being chosen as the official bicycle of la vuelta, colnago released a limited edition, c68 rosso with an eyewatering price-tag of £19,000. hardly the mode of transport espoused by the so-called working class. but more earnest blogs than the post have seriously discussed the ever-widening wealth gap headed by the divisive head of tesla and space x, elon musk, currently estimated to be the world's wealthiest man with over £366 billion in the bank. i recall, in the 1970s, listening to futurists claiming that the advent of the computer would eventually lead to an excess of leisure time for all of humanity, while this computer enabled wealth would fund the less onerous activities of very early retirement.

what no-one seems to have postulated, or even considered, is that those who fostered this improved wealth creation would pretty much keep it all to themselves, rather than sharing it amongst those whose efforts had helped foster such a benevolent financial state of affairs in the first place. however, making tangential reference to the notion that 'cycling is the new golf', there's every probability that cycling amongst the middle-aged man in lycra (mamil) has raised its profile among the relatively well-heeled. it would be hard to imagine velominati's rule #12 (n+1) making any inroads to the clubhouse in the early part of the 20th century.

however, a bit like my constant attempt to justify just why i own two expensive drumsets and six snare drums, despite barely qualifying as a semi-pro drummer, it's every bit as hard to reason why many of us own several bicycles, yet not a single professional contract or local event entry form amongst us. the current excuse on which i have settled for owning so many drums is plain and simple: i found myself able to afford them, so why not? which seems every bit as applicable to a bike shed full of bicycles.

but, unless there's a velocipedinal equivalent of elon musk, there has to come a time when you might conceivably own every bike or glittering component that your heart desires. the word 'desire' was not chosen by accident, for even when that state appears to have been more than satisfied, the desire itself may not simply evaporate. it should come as no real surprise that i am already considering one more snare drum, of which i demonstrably have no particular need, and i would be less than surprised to learn that many of you in bicycle-land are scouring the websites for fresh trinketry on which to spend your hard-won bitcoin. and given that the bicycle industry forms an integral part of the service industry, they are poised and well-positioned to provide that service to those who wish to avail themselves of their altruism.

the latest in the above sequence is brought to you by vicenza, having very recently announced a few upgrades to their well-received and reviewed super-record 13 wireless groupset. depsite having reduced the cost of the second iteration of this groupset to sub £4,000, they now seek to recoup the difference by offering you a new carbon/alloy outer chainring, ceramic bearings for the bottom bracket, and a new cassette machined from a solid block of titanium, and featuring a £620 price ticket.

let's be perfectly honest here; nobody needs any of this stuff. even with ceramic bearings in the bottom bracket, none of us are going to reach the leather sofa in debbie's any quicker than we currently achieve. of course, having spent in excess of £1,000 pounds on these eexpensive, yet trivial enhancements, it well behoves the well-remunerated member of the sunday peloton to ensure that he or she, makes constant mention of them at every opportunity.

where's the point in ownership if you can't practice at least a smidgeon of one-upmanship?

image: campagnolo

saturday 18 october 2025

the style factor

the vicissitudes of the planning department of argyll & bute council are plain to see for all, in the manner they appear to be shuffling the environment in which yours truly has opted to live. only a few leaps and bounds from the croft is a house which has been under construction for longer than i can truthfully recall, and the design of which bears no resemblance whatsoever to the buildings which surround it. on the right are two single-storey, traditional cottages, while on the opposite side is an unoccupied two-storey house, long since vacant and owned by bowmore distillery. its design is what might also be referred to as traditional and its dowdy whitewashed exterior a commonality across the hebrides.

the house to which i refer is reputedly of modern design, with the roof higher on one side than the other and with large windows seemingly randomly placed about its person. what is not visible on its contemporaneity is any sign of chimneys. granted, it appears that the house will feature all-electric heating, but the two, semi-detached cottages built across the road within the last decade, were required to fit 'dummy chimneys, reputedly to fit in with the surrounding houses. four houses built within sight of the croft were also excluded from such a demand, despite every single proximitous house featuring one chimney per residence.

it seems the imposition of standards is akin to a moving target.

and when en-route to debbie's in bruichladdich, but only a kilometre or two from bridgend village, again under construction is a very large house resembling little more than a sports pavilion, featuring floor to ceiling windows overlooking the head of the loch. while its modeernity is completely out of keeping with traditional hebridean tradition, that particular aspect is made determinedly worse by its siting adjacent to an elderly, traditional house and conjoined quaint cottage, with tiny, trellised windows. the contrast can only be described as stark, and many have questioned the sanity of the region's planning department in allowing this to pass the planning application.

depending on your architectural point of view, islay's original hebridean housing embodies a remarkably pleasing aesthetic, one that is peppered all across the island. but this aesthetic is being seriously challenged by an ever-increasing preponderance of new-build kit houses, many raised at the behest of wealthy retirees, but clearly designed on a purely functional and economic basis. the majority of these demonstrate remarkably little in the way of traditional design, and there is clearly no intent on the part of the council planning department to retain any of islay's heritage, though i, and others, are at a loss to explain why.

to an extent, it is perhaps a tad unfair to single out the local planning department, for the majority of 21st century innovation seems less than concerned with adopting most (or any) of the 20th century's best practice. bicycles pretty much all look identical these days, aside from the colours and name on the downtube. likewise the motor car, which bears a verisimilitude with that of the cycle industry by making its vehicles all but indistinguishable from each other. even with the addition of electrons.

i am not a motor engineer, nor, come to that, a cycle engineer. therefore i am not fully aprised of the plusses and minuses applicable to the design of either. but i cannot be the only one to have noted that the majority of electric cars resemble nothing more than their internal combustion bedfellows but with panels blanking out the radiator grills. is it not possible that the electric motors could be made to occupy less boxy surroundings? likewise the e-bike, the vast majority of which are not only as dull as dishwater from a design point of view, but almost invariably appear to be painted with varying shades of mud.

is not this the century in which we were due to be approaching the era of the jetsons, when we ought to be living in the jet age, with all that this was once forecast to entail? should it not be that the manufacturers of e-bikes, many of whom are not hidebound by any connection to velocipedinal tradition, provide us with futuristic design, employing swoopy curves rather than the rudimentary box shapes with which we have been served? after all, the raleigh chopper originated in 1968 and the to-die-for colnago arabesque surfaced in 1984. compare that with the just-released gazelle avignon e-bike.

need i say more?

wednesday 15 october 2025

replication

thirty three cyclists - daredevils, visionaries and adventurers by david houghton. open circle press paperback. 242pp illus. £11.15

at the risk of preaching to the gallery, i doubt that there's anyone here who doesn't hold the bicycle in high regard, aware of its significance in the grand scheme of things and that, for many of us, eminently greater than the sum of its parts. that said, the bicycle itself is - and i mean no disrespect - simply an inert object. even tadej's colnago and wout's cervelo are nothing more than admirable means of transport, sporting state of the art carbon construction and associated componentry. but without their renowned masters, by themselves, they can achieve virtually nothing at all. and were uae team emirates or visma lease-a-bike to freely hand those bicycles to you or i, they'd hardly become the objects of admiration they have doubtless become.

even a cursory glance at the title of the book under discussion will elicit that the third word is cyclists. were that insufficient of a clue, it seems highly unlikely that the daredevils, visionaries and adventurers are adjectives describing the inert objects outlined above. on the contrary, david houghton's excellent book refers to the individuals, both male and female, who have made use of the bicycle to achieve that which houghton has spent thirty-three chapters and almost 250 pages to describe.

to quote from the author's introduction, "...what truly brings this bony machine to life is people. For two centuries, people have turned to the bicycle to defy the boundaries of speed, distance, and, very often, common sense."

the varied chapters are arranged more or less, chronologically, beginning with karl drais (or, to give him his full title, karl christian ludwig freiherr drais von sauerbronn), largely credited with inventing one of the earliest bicycle shaped objects in 1816: the laufmaschine or draisine. this two-wheeled object was bereft of pedals, requiring the 'rider' to walk briskly while astride the wooden horse.

by 1839, the latter had begun the transformation from a dandy-horse into a boneshaker, but the chapter does not provide credit to the originator of the pedal system; probably one of those eternal unknowns. however, i should disavow the notion that this book simply offers a dry reprise of the history of the bicycle as we know it. mr houghton's narrative is a great deal more entertaining than that, illustrating the path to the bicycle as we know it by way of anecdotes and important stories in its development, particularly if those stories involve, speed, distance, or a combination of the two.

"NO MATTER HOW PRIMITIVE the bicycle, no matter how bumpy or muddy the path, cyclists have always fixated on riding as fast as their legs and lungs will allow."

the former aspect (speed) was certainly one that eventually led to the arrival of the safety bicycle. until that point, the legendary penny farthing had ruled the roost, mostly from a great height. "With any bicycle that had pedals attached directly to the front wheel, there was only one way to go faster. That was to increase the size of the wheel." the so-called safety bicycle acquired its name relative to the dangers of riding the penny farthing, providing a verisimilitude of the modern-day bicycle.

though the author has made a superb job of illustrating just how we arrived at two equally-sized wheels, chain drive and an ever-increasing number of gears, at a remarkable early part of the book, he alludes to an unrequited aspect of velocipedinal science. "To this day, scientists still can't agree on why bicycles stay upright [...] The bicycle represents (an) embarrassing hole in the accomplishments of physics."

but just like recent cycle sport history, it seems all roads lead to mark cavendish and his trouncing of eddy merckx' long-serving record of stage wins in the tour de france. we reach this culmination by way of albert einstein, john kemp starley, late 19th century round the world cyclist, annie cohen kopchovsky, the wright brothers, and several other individuals of whom i'm willing to bet you've never heard. even if only for that reason alone, this is one of the most fascinating and enjoyable books it has been my pleasure to read; it's the sort of volume which reviewers of far greater perspicacity than yours truly, would be likely to describe as one which transcends its subject.

the writing is intelligent, the research impressive and perhaps most importantly, the reading remarkably easy, considering the copious depths covered by many of the thirty-three chapters. with christmas looming on the horizon, this would make the perfect present for the cyclist in your life, male or female. david houghton cleverly imparts over 200 years of velocipedinal tradition without ever making it seem like a history lesson.

an essential acquisition for anyone who considers themselves a cyclist. as an added bonus, the book features a copious bibliography at the back, along with a painstakingly comprehensive index. and a portion of the proceeds will go to world bicycle relief.

purchase thirty-three cyclists on amazon

tuesday 14 october 2025